General Leadership

Lead by Example

Lead by example. Phillip Kane's blog
Photo 74575302 / Don Shula © Jerry Coli |

Friday, December 2, 2022

This week, while visiting the NFL Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio as part of a team‐building exercise with some of the leaders of our company, I noticed a quote projected on a wall from the legendary coach of the Miami Dolphins, Don Shula. Shula, who coached from 1963 to 1995 (most of those years with the Dolphins) holds the distinction of being the only coach to have ever led a team to an undefeated season – going 14‐0, then winning the 1973 Super Bowl. Shula, who died just two years ago, was a hero to many of my generation, including me, not only for what he did in football, but for the way he lived his life and led other human beings. So, as I saw his words projected on the smooth, concrete wall, though I’d seen it before, I found myself reading it over, and over again:

“I don’t know any other way to lead but by example.”

What Don Shula understood intrinsically is that people follow the example of their leaders. They don’t do what they say … they do what they do. They watch them carefully. Imitating them. Wanting to be like them. Believing that if they do the things their leaders do, they can be like them someday. And because of this Don Shula understood something else – something far more important even. He understood that the sort of example he set was a choice. He knew that the only person who determines whether a leader creates a positive example or something other than that is the leader themself and no one else.

And that’s the point for the week.

See, what Don Shula knew, maybe better than any other coach of his generation, is that life is a choice. Every day of our life is a beautiful, wonderful choice between happiness and sadness, between giving our all or giving in, between bringing our whole heart or bringing something less, between doing the right thing or the wrong one, between helping a neighbor or walking right on by, … or between setting the right example or the wrong one. And this goes for all of us. Each of us is faced with a hundred chances each day to decide what sort of example we’ll set. Each one of us is a leader of something – even if it’s just our own future self. Each of us has an opportunity to choose.

And when more and more of us, then, ultimately, all of us, choose to lead, to set an example for good more often, the lives of everyone around us will improve – here at Turbo, in our homes, and in our communities. It can’t work any other way. It won’t work any other way. For every person here to achieve whatever the “more” is that they seek in their lives, every single person who works here must believe in, exhibit, and be willing to fight for a kinder, more positive example of leadership. And when we do, almost nothing will be able to stop us; because exactly none of our energy will be wasted on negativity, dissent, half‐heartedness, or indifference.

See, what Don Shula proved, beyond any doubt, is that winning, that having more of whatever matters to the people on a team, requires that no room be left anywhere for anyone except those who choose a better way. And because every single person in that organization, beginning with him, chose something better, they never lost a game.

That’s what’s available to us … if we choose a better way … if we choose to set a better example for those around us to follow.

So be like Coach Shula. Lead by example.

And Win.

General Leadership

Don’t Change Definitions, Change Lives.

Don't Change Definitions, Change Lives. Phillip Kane's blog
Image: Annie Spratt |

Saturday, July 30, 2022

This week, the ruling class and media elites in this country spent most of their time arguing about the definition of long-settled words, most notably, recession. Long understood by all to mean an economic period marked by two or more continuous quarters of GDP retraction, our current administration and its water carriers began seeking immediately, after the news of Q2’s economic decline was announced, to recast the definition of the word recession so as to avoid admitting that the nation was, in point of fact, in one. Some even went as far as to deny that the long-held definition was actually the long-held definition after all. Bastion of truth and objectivity, Wikipedia changed the definition, locked the page from further editing, then, in response to visceral outrage, changed the definition of definition itself to allow for such fluidity as was occurring right before our very eyes.

The trouble with all of the variability, though, is that it was doing absolutely nothing to fix the root problem of the economic malaise gripping the country. Changing definitions is not winning. Changing definitions does nothing to help those whom one held their hand up and asked to lead.

Changing definitions is concerned solely with improving the image and legacy of those with egg on their face; it does nothing to improve the lives of those paying more for eggs.

And that’s the point for the week.

The trouble with insufferable narcissists is that they almost never take responsibility for their failures.

The other problem with them is that they care almost nothing at all for those whom they asked to lead.

It’s why they will bend themselves into a pretzel to avoid even the appearance of blame, let alone actually accepting, then taking action to correct a mistake they have caused. It’s simply not in their nature.

So, they send out their minions to deny that the truth people can see with their own two eyes is actually taking place. They instruct others to change the definitions of words. Still others they ask to recast and reframe data. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” they shout, “Enjoy the wonderful world of OZ.”

But this isn’t winning. No right-thinking human being believes this is winning.

And it’s not a matter of politics … or comparison … or whataboutism. It’s a simple matter of right and wrong – about telling people the truth or telling people something else.

People who tell others the truth, no matter how difficult, attract followers. They collect around them people who would go anywhere with them and do anything for them, because they know if they tell them something it is the truth. For second only to love, the most important contract between two human beings is trust. And without it, one will never have followers, but only people that do what they are told in exchange for money. But trust binds organizations together and fuels them onward. It’s what enables them to withstand the cycles of the economy and the buffets of the competition. It’s what creates winners – the likes of which we haven’t seen around here for a while … because we keep mistaking things for leadership traits that aren’t, and hiring people to lead who can’t – people who change definitions instead of changing what’s broken.

Don’t be these people. Don’t change definitions, change what’s broken. Don’t change the narrative, change the outcome. Don’t change words, change people’s lives.

And win.

For more about the author, please follow this LINK.

To purchase Phillip Kane’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring, (John Hunt Publishing) please click HERE.

Image: Annie Spratt |

General Leadership

Do Things Cleanly

Do Things Cleanly. Phillip Kane's blog
Image: Charlotte Kane

Saturday, June 25, 2022

This week, my daughter, Charlotte, started a blog of her own. She named it Bellezza Pulita, or Clean Beauty. Charlotte has a passion for a more refined sort of lifestyle without artificial fillers or extraneous things that either don’t belong or don’t add value or worse, that are potentially harmful or disruptive. She believes strongly that there is a cleaner path to beauty, style, food and culture.

As I thought more about what Charlotte was doing and saying, besides being proud of her, it also occurred to me that a lot of what she’s talking about has application for our lives in business too. It makes perfect sense. When we seek to do things more cleanly, with less waste and with greater refinement, we’ll win more often.

And that’s the point for the week.

I often tell those I have the privilege to work with or coach that the expenditure of any effort, resource, or expense on anything not 100% tied to attainment of the organization’s goals and objectives is waste. I tell people this because it’s true. The cleaner anything is, the less waste will be associated with it.

That’s because what is clean is sleek and streamlined; it’s something pure and undefiled; it’s something without unnecessary adornment or extra bits that contribute nothing to its stated purpose or objective. So, it would follow, then, that things done more cleanly will be far less wasteful and far more aligned to organizational goals. They will also tend to be beautiful.                                                                                           

Beauty is not just a superficial asthetic. It is, or should be, something far deeper than that. Beauty defines the way all parts of something come together in proportion and balance. Too much of anything or something out of place destroys not only appearance, but functionality and effectiveness as well. 

True, caring leaders seek beauty in all they do because they know that not only does the creation of beautiful things more often guarantee winning but it also guarantees that people stick around longer and bring more of their heart to everything they do. That’s because if given a choice, most people would rather create beautiful things than the alternative. It’s also because in creating things of lasting beauty, human beings derive great joy. And along with love and trust, it’s joy that people seek to bring fulfilment to their lives whether at home, at work or in giving back to their communities.

And it all starts with doing things more cleanly, with less wasted time and effort, less of everything no one wants and more of what customers will actually pay for, less resources squandered on things that don’t matter and more spending on things that do, less screaming and more encouraging, less hidden agendas and far more transparency, less trash and more treasure, less L and more P, and, more than anything, fewer people who don’t care and far more people who do.

Because like almost anything else in life, to do things more cleanly is a choice – a beautiful, wonderful choice between caring enough to create something beautiful or, as is the case for many, to not quite care at all. 

So, choose beauty. Do things cleanly.

And win.

For more like this, visit

To purchase a copy of Phillip Kane’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring, a better alternative to narcissistic, old-school, micromanagement, please click HERE.

Image: Charlotte Kane

General Leadership

Gather with Purpose

Gather with Purpose. Phillip Kane's blog. Image credit: Pezibear |
Image credit: Pezibear |

Saturday, June 18, 2022

This week, Annie, and I spent a day looking at houses. We are thinking of moving to be closer to our children. We looked at old houses, new houses and in-between houses. We looked at big houses, little houses and in-between houses. We looked at close to town houses, away from town  houses and a bit in-between houses. We looked at move-in-ready houses, gut-job houses, and in between houses. We looked at houses like the one we have now, totally different houses, and in-between houses. We looked at open floorplan houses, chopped-up floorplan houses, and in-between houses. And the one we ended up liking the most was the most unlike anything we expected to like.

It wasn’t in a location we liked. It wasn’t built in the 20’s like we like. It wasn’t in an old neighborhood like we like. It didn’t have a story like we like. It wasn’t particularly attractive like we (and most people) like. It was a house that 9 times out of 10, we’d drive right past. But it felt like a home … because it was built for people to gather in. And as much as I continued to think I wanted the house that was the most like the house I have now in the neighborhood like I live in now, I couldn’t stop thinking about the unattractive, needs everything, feels-like-a-home gathering place. I think that’s because we’re made to gather; we’re happier that way, especially when we have a reason for doing so.

And that’s the point for the week.

Human beings are social creatures. We were created to be together with other human beings – in tribes, in clans, in clubs, in families, in communities, on teams and any other collection of two or more of us in any one place with a reason for being there. We do so because we don’t care for being alone doing nothing for long. Even the more introverted among us like more to be left alone than to be alone; because we are not made for extended solitude.

That’s why cases of depression and worse skyrocketed during the last two years of remote school and work. Zoom was an awful substitute for gathering together. Two dimensional images of those we care about were poor and unacceptable substitutes for the real thing. And when the lack of contact was combined with a lack of direction things became even worse. Millions of listless, lonely workers was a recipe for disaster.

It’s that same lack of direction, I think, which is now creating the bulk of the mixed emotions which are surrounding the return to the office for so many. It’s not so much that people don’t want to return to the office ever … they do. They long to see and gather with those they love and care about. What they aren’t looking forward to, and in many cases outright refuse to tolerate, is a combination of the office with lack of direction. They are willing to tolerate the latter from home but not after dressing for the office then enduring a commute to get there. Plus, when there doesn’t seem to be any actual togetherness once they arrive, the whole thing feels like a giant case of bait and switch.

Those that will win the return to the office game are those who understand that human beings have both a need to gather and a need for purpose. People will gladly show up in the office if they understand why they need to be there and are likewise rewarded by regular and meaningful gatherings with those they’ve missed. What they won’t tolerate are the early stabs at a hybrid model that feels worse even than either remote work or the office of yore because those in charge decided to combine the worst of both together into one awful construct they decided would be best for themselves.

This isn’t about spoiled workers with too much Covid money. Nor should it be about companies waiting people out until the Biden economy gets even worse and their perceived leverage returns. It’s about neither of those things. It’s fundamentally about people wanting to be with people. It’s about people wanting a purpose. And it’s about people wanting direction. None of those things seem like they are too much to ask for. People will gather together on purpose, it’s just what they do. Giving them a purpose to stay, well, that’s just what leaders do.

So, gather with purpose.

And win.

To learn more about the author, please follow this LINK.

To purchase Phillip’s new book, a finalist for the 2022 Hoffer prize, click HERE.

Image credit: Pezibear |

General Leadership

Get Behind the Mask

Get behind the mask. Phillip Kane's blog

Friday, June 10, 2022

Next week, my son, William, is going to racing school. It was a present for his 18th birthday. Like his father he likes cars. Like his grandfather, he like to go fast in cars. So, it seemed wise to combine some education with his fascination. So off to school he’s going to go. It’s something he’s been excited about … until the last week or so. Lately he’s seemed less enthusiastic about the whole thing. When before he’d talk about the adventure in a quite animated way, now he’s more reserved, matter of fact, and ready to change the subject. It has started to seem like something he doesn’t want to do anymore. The nearer time has come to leaving the less excited he’s become about going.

Finally, I asked him what was wrong. Of course, at first, it was, “nothing.” But eventually, I learned it was the 5 hours of flying it was going to take to get there. See, Will hates to fly. He always has. His trepidation about the trip, and what seemed the school, actually had nothing to do with the school. It was the air travel to get there. Will just wasn’t looking forward to the flight and it colored the way the rest of us thought he was thinking about the trip generally. Had I not asked him, I might have just cancelled the whole trip or made some other mistake based on my own assumptions of how and what he was feeling. That would have been a disaster. But then bad things typically happen when we simply assume what other people are thinking based on the masks they are wearing.

And that’s the point for the week.

When we try to diagnose the feelings of others from a distance bad things almost always happen. That’s because we’re almost never correct in our assumptions. The masks people wear are generally meant to hide their true feelings, not to portray them. But most of us miss that. Instead, we, at a glance, attempt to figure out what’s behind their expression, their body language, their eyes, not once thinking to simply ask them what’s going on. Then, acting on our own bad intelligence, we make matters worse.

In attempting to fix things we cause further damage. In attempting to heal, we create a greater rift. In attempting to bridge a gap, we widen one. All because we thought better of simply taking the time to get behind the mask, by showing that we care enough to ask what’s behind it.

After all, that’s what most people want anyway – to be cared about … to be listened to … to be unmasked, in their time and on their terms. No one wants by told by someone that they just fixed their problem when they haven’t even told that person what their problem is. But in most cases it’s not even about solving their problem. It’s simply about being listened to, about being understood, about not being judged, about someone saying, “I still love you no matter what” and “I’m not going to make stupid decisions based on stupid assumptions anymore.”

Most people want little more than that from their leaders, from their parents, from their siblings or from people they bump into on the street.

People don’t want to be the objects of assumption, they want to be the objects of affection. It’s truly no more complicated than that.

So, take the time to care enough to get behind the mask.

And win.

o learn more about the author, please click HERE.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s new book, a finalist for the Eric Hoffer prize, please follow this LINK.

Image credit: Geralt |

General Leadership

Choose the Light

Choose the light. Phillip Kane's blog.
Image credit Bruno van der Kraan |

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Today is Easter Sunday. For the more than 2 billion Christians on the planet it’s the day we commemorate Christ’s resurrection from the dead – God’s triumph over darkness. It is for those of us who believe, the proof of salvation and the evidence that good will prevail over evil. For just as Jesus Christ was condemned by the wicked to suffer and die a horrible death upon a cross, he did rise again on the third day, exactly as he said. And just as the tomb in which he had laid was flooded with light the moment the stone was rolled away, so too was the world, the instant he stepped back into it. But that’s the thing about light. No amount of darkness can ever overcome it; the light will always prevail. 

And that’s the point for the week. 

Don’t believe it?  Bring a dark shoebox into a light room and open it. The room won’t become one bit darker. But the box will be flooded with light. Try a bigger box. Then a bigger box. No amount of darkness will ever prevail. But walk into the pitchest of black with the tiniest of flames and watch what happens. The light will always win. 

Leaders who bring light prevail similarly. Because people willingly follow light. People want to be uplifted, to be fed, to be part of something bigger than themselves. Leaders who recognize these things collect more followers. And they win more, for the simple reason that people are attracted to the light.  

It’s the reason that 2,000 years after he walked this earth, 2 billion people still believe … in the light. 

People who follow blackness do so because they have to, because they are forced to, or are under some control or addiction to the dark. No one grows up wishing they could be an addict, or a thief, or a horrible boss. They do so because there is no light in their life. Because the thing they worship is black. And it’s why when they’re gone no one remembers them. Because light quickly swallows the darkness – as if it never even existed. 

So, make today a choice. Make it about more often bringing light into a room or a home or a business or a community. Live your life as a bright, shining reminder of He who conquered sin and death for us, who deserve naught, so that we might have life and light everlasting. 

So, choose the light. 

And win. 

To learn more about the author, please follow the LINK.

To order Phillip’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, please click HERE.

Image credit Bruno van der Kraan |

General Leadership

Be the One Others Want to Follow

Be the one others want to follow. Phillip Kane's blog.
Image credit: Todd Greene | 

Friday, April 8, 2022

This week, the North Carolina men’s basketball team very nearly beat Kansas to win the 2022 National Championship game in Boston. I say nearly because the Tar Heels lost by just 3 points, 72 – 69, after having led for much of the contest. UNC was not even supposed to be in this game, let alone be in a position to win it. They were an 8-seed. The last and only time an 8 seed ever won the tournament was 1985 (with no team lower than an 8 having ever reached the final game.)

But the Tar Heels were, in fact, there, and almost won.

Along the way, they beat a 1-seed, a 2-seed and a 4-seed. They got there the hard way. They won their way there.

And they did so with almost the same group of players that had lost in the first round to Wisconsin just one year ago. UNC returned 4 starters from the 2020 – 2021 season. So, with the exception of newcomer, Brady Manek, the team wasn’t much different.

What changed was the coach.

Hubert Davis was different. Hubert Davis was someone these kids wanted to play for. See, teams perform at a significantly higher level when they do what they do for someone they want to follow.

And that’s the point for the week.

In the semi-final game, UNC played Duke in a rubber match it was not supposed to win. Duke, a 2-seed was favored to win by 2 baskets. But it became clear relatively quickly that Carolina would be only the fourth 8-seed to ever play in an NCAA final. It was clear because it became plain to see that the Tar Heel players love playing for Hubert Davis. These kids would follow him anywhere. Duke’s players, on the other hand, were listless. Even in Coach Mike Krzyzewski’s final game ever, the Blue Devil players didn’t rise to the occasion. There was no apparent love of Coach K. There was no one going over a cliff for him that night.

Those who unwillingly follow someone will bolt, curl up or mail it in at the very first sign of trouble, pain, or difficulty. Even in the best of circumstances, they will rarely give their all. That’s because in the human markets of give and take, the worst leaders take way more than they give. So, when it comes time to ask for more, they find only empty hearts. Those they lean into walk away, leaving them to fight alone.

But those whom others willingly follow are those who put in more than they ever take out. They invest in others with no expectation of return. They seek to make others really, really big, by making themselves really, really small. That’s because they understand the cardinal rule of leadership – that it’s not about them.

It’s the paradoxical truth of all of this: that the more we put others ahead of ourselves, the more they will stand behind us … willingly, without reservation, without fear, and without anyone ever having to throw a dry erase marker in the direction of another human being.

So, be like Coach Davis. Be the one others want to follow. 

And win.

To learn about booking Phillip to speak at your event, please contact us.

To order Phillip’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, please click HERE.

Image credit: Todd Greene | 

General Leadership

Don’t Coast

Don't coast. Phillip Kane's blog.
Image credit: Finn IJspeert |

Friday, December 17, 2021

This week, Red Bull Racing driver, Max Verstappen, won the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix and the 2021 F1 World Drivers’ Championship … doing so on the race’s last lap and edging out rival, Mercedes’ Lewis Hamilton by just over 2 seconds and 8 points respectively.

On lap one of the race, Hamilton used a run-off area to avoid a pass by Verstappen and, being permitted by race stewards to keep his position, kept his lead, then, and for nearly the entire balance of the race, stretching his advantage, at times, to more than 10 seconds over Verstappen. 

Article 15.3 e) of the 2021 Formula One Sporting Regulations states that:

15.3 The clerk of the course shall work in permanent consultation with the Race Director. The Race Director shall have overriding authority in the following matters and the clerk of the course may give orders in respect of them only with his express agreement:

e) The use of the safety car.

Remember that. It will become important later. 

With six laps remaining, driver Nicholas Latifi crashed in turn 14 causing a yellow flag and bringing out the safety car. 

Red Bull immediately brought Verstappen in for new, soft (most aggressive) tires. Hamilton stayed out. Toto Wolff, Mercedes Manager and part-owner of the team, had calculated that the race would either end under caution or that Verstappen would need to contend with the lapped cars between him and Hamilton, making a Red Bull challenge impossible. With just two laps to go, it looked as if Wolff was right and that Hamilton would coast to a win under yellow. 

But then, Race Control announced both that, the lapped cars would go through – putting Verstappen directly behind Hamilton – and that the safety car would leave the track, with one lap to go. 

Five turns into the final lap, Max Verstappen easily passed now Sir Lewis Hamilton going on to win. 

Now, any can debate the merits of Race Director, Michael Masi’s, decision to invoke 15.3e to make changes at the end of the race to ensure competition and that the race would end under green flag racing, just as many might debate the lap one call. There are Race Control decisions from the entire year, Silverstone maybe, that could be second-guessed. But to let one’s entire fate rest in the hands of others and meanwhile coast along while your competition is making moves to cut your throat, that’s a tremendously bad idea.

And that’s the point for the week.

Mercedes didn’t lose because of Michael Masi, no more than Red Bull won because of him. Mercedes lost because Toto Wolff made a decision to continue coasting along, leaving Hamilton out, when he could have brought him in for new, soft tires of his own. Instead, Red Bull, as they had done all day, all season, in fact, was the one to make the decisions and moves to put themselves in the best position to win should the opportunity present itself. And it did.

Those who coast along are headed for a fall. It is never a matter of if, but always a matter of when. The junk pile of history is littered with big, important names – those who believed that they were too big to fail, too mighty to be beaten, too far ahead to ever be caught. But caught they were, like Hamilton, eaten and moved on from.

Are you out there coasting? Just turning laps … Believing you have the best infrastructure? Thinking, maybe wrongly, that you have the best people? Believing that you have built such a lead over your rivals that you can never be caught? Ask Mary Barra of GM how that’s working out for them, or the U.S. tire makers. Those who coast lose. It’s a simple fact.

Conversely, those who best understand their surroundings and who are best prepared to capitalize on more potential outcomes will win more often.

They do so almost entirely because they employ brighter people – because these are the sort of places that bright people want to work and stay at. Places that move quickly, accept mistakes, encourage fun and celebrate victories instead of expecting them. 

I say almost, because I believe the biggest difference of all is that people who haven’t learned to coast still remember what losing feels like; and what motivates them is less a desire to never feel that way again themselves but moreover to never see those they care about go through it ever again.

So, the hunger that drives a preparedness to win is more about care than anything else. Doubt it? Just watch a better prepared team and a coaster when they lose; tell me which one hugs and consoles and which one throws their equipment.

It is really, like all else in life, a simple choice. To coast off into oblivion or to care enough to put yourself in a position to pass those who do. 

And win.

Afterword: After several disputes, appeals and vows to fight the result in court, Mercedes the race team, possibly under pressure from Mercedes AG (who realized, I think, that losing car sales as a result of already largely disliked Toto Wolff’s childish and meritless fit was a bad idea) dropped their case earlier this week and Max Verstappen was formally crowned the F1 WDC in Paris on Thursday.

For more about the author, please click HERE.

To pre-order Phillip’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, please follow this LINK.

General Leadership

Avoid Papa Moments

Avoid Papa Moments

April 16, 2021

My father was well known for his stories and his witticisms. That I grew up to be a storyteller was a surprise to exactly nobody. It is, after all, the family business.

I was raised the oldest of four boys. Whenever some tragedy would befall one or more of us, my father, after quickly deducing the precise circumstances of the situation, would almost always, because it was almost always true, look at the victim of the tragedy and in a tone that was part accusatory and part loving father, declare for what must have felt to him like the 1,386th time, “Bad things happen when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.” Then, most often, he’d turn and walk away. For him, that was the end of it. Because for him, it was no more complicated than that.

Whatever might have happened, whatever grave consequence might have occurred, to him, didn’t matter. To him it was fruit of the original sin of our choosing to do something we weren’t supposed to be doing.

And he was right. When people make decisions to do the wrong things, bad things almost always follow.

And that’s the point for the week.

When my own kids suffer the consequences of bad decisions, Annie and I simply refer to them as “Papa Moments.” Papa was what they called my dad. We don’t even need to give them the whole “Bad things happen…” spiel. Papa Moment suffices. They get it. Their generation also says, “Play stupid games’ win stupid prizes.” It’s pretty much the same. When you engage in stupid behavior, something bad is going to follow.

The news has been overtaken for what seems like the last five years by situations that are tearing this country apart.  Truly horrible outcomes about which I have no interest in choosing a side in. I don’t have a dog in those fights. I don’t care to. I do though know that bad things happen when we are doing things we aren’t supposed to be doing. My father never cared about whose was at fault when the horrible things started happening because he knew that were his sons doing the right thing the bad things never see the light of day. I react the same way with my kids, and with those I have the privilege to lead.

Good choices lead to good outcomes. Make bad choices and all bets are off.

Lest anyone lose their mind, evil, illegal or immoral outcomes which occur after bad decisions are made are never justified or excused. If you think that’s the point of this, start back at the beginning; you’ve missed the point. The point is this. Bad decisions lead to bad outcomes. Without the bad decision, what comes after never happens. There is no division.  There is no anger. There is no manufactured outrage. There is no hate. Because we never get there in the first place.

When all of us focus on the personal responsibility that we have to one another to make better decisions, to do the things we are supposed to be doing, and to avoid those things we know in our hearts are Papa Moments, we will accomplish more as families, as organizations and as communities.  We will do so because we will spend less time fighting with one another over which was worse, the stupid game or the stupid prize, and more time on what really matters like coming together, as one nation, indivisible, under God.

So, avoid Papa Moments.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE.

General Leadership

Stop the Hate

True, caring leaders stop the hate. Phillip Kane's blog

March 27, 2021

This week at a forum event for a US House of Representatives race in the middle of the country, as one candidate was describing their Irish immigrant ancestry, another candidate of BIPOC descent attacked them, attempting to dismiss the Irish candidate’s experience as some sort of “privilege.” The dismissive party reasoned that their own ancestors, who they claimed were part of the slave trade, had no choice in coming to America, unlike those of candidate number one.

In what should have been an exchange of ideas for how to move America forward, including how to unite this country after months of bitter, partisan division, a candidate within the same party chose to tear down another, creating further strife because of the color of his skin while also ignorantly discounting the fact that his ancestors too had little choice in coming to America.

The fact is, facing famine, many Irish citizens took the last of what they had to buy passage for America bartering between starving to death at home or fleeing penniless to a new country where they would be met with harsh poverty, disease, and coarse discrimination.

But rather than know that, or better, celebrate the fact that in exactly as many generations later, both candidates had arrived at a circumstance that from however awful beginnings they were standing to represent their family, district, state and country for a seat in the US House of Representatives – sharing more in common than not – the rude, interrupting candidate chose to make it about hate. And everyone in the room knew it. See, hate is ugly and backward looking. When we hate, good, forward-looking people can see it and they want no part of it.

And that’s the point for the week.

There’s far too much hate in this world. And it is increasingly being used as a justification for poor behavior, including awful rhetoric and unspeakable violence. It’s a knife that cuts all ways, across ideologies, creeds, colors, and party affiliations. No one group is better or worse than another. Hate is hate, and it sucks no matter who is brokering it. Whataboutism is no excuse for it. It matters not at all who did what, who started what, or how horrible the original sin might be. There is NEVER any justification for hate. No one ever deserves hate.

What’s mostly wrong today is that it has become fashionable to hate on particular groups who aggrieved groups feel have it coming to them. This merely inflames other parties to return the favor. Hate simply begets hate. Nothing good ever came of hate. There is no virtue in hate. There is no righteousness in hate. Hate is hate and it’s ugly and sick no matter who is dealing it.

Whether in our homes, our businesses, or in our communities when we start to simply love the one we’re looking at, life will become infinitely better. Teams founded on love and that refuse to tolerate hate win more often, because hate makes trust impossible and without trust, winning won’t happen. When teammates stop long enough to park their hate at the door, they quickly realize that there is more that unites them than divides them. From these common footholds, amazing, winning campaigns can follow. But only IF hate stays away.

So, if you are a leader, or want to be, of a family, a community, a business, or a country and want to win, stop tolerating hate, of any kind – even hate the conventional wisdom will have you believe is somehow justified.

End the hate. Love the one you’re looking at.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

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