Categories
Common Ground Tolerance

Be Tolerant

Be tolerant of what comes out of the mouths of others. Phillip Kane's andwin blog.

April 29, 2021

This week, after a speech in which the nation was asked to believe that white terror groups are the single greatest threat to America, an African American man gave a response to that speech.  Within minutes, the hashtag “Uncle Tim” was trending on Twitter. It was not taken down by those in charge at Twitter and continued to grow. This abject racism was spewing from the same people whose party leader only moments before tried to convince America that the problem was rooted on the other side of the fence. During the speech, a woman of color sat directly behind the president. No hate for her trended on Twitter. Only after the speech did the hate trend, from the left, for a man of color they disagree with. Regardless, the most dangerous force in America is not the almost nonexistent extreme of either white supremacy – or black supremacy.  See, the racist whackos exist on both sides; there just aren’t enough of them to trifle with. Nope. The most dangerous force in America, the greatest threat to our democracy and our continued ability to function together as teams is the absolute lack of tolerance that exists for any idea that’s different from our own.

And that’s the point for the week.



It used to be that diversity of thought was OK.  It’s what made America great. From many points of view came common solutions to complex problems that propelled this nation forward through war, pandemic, economic collapse, and true terrorist attacks. In fact, it’s the motto of this nation: E Plurbis Unum – From Many, One. We used to listen to one another. We’d learn from one another. And in doing so, we’d learn to trust one another, care for one another and even die for one another.

But somehow, it gave way to a condition where if you don’t think like me, I’m going to hate you, cancel you or brand you a terrorist threat. Any organization, whether a family, a company, a community group or a country that allows itself to be torn apart from within is destined to fail – for no other reason than nothing is possible when only half of something is pulling on the rope.

If the history of this country has taught us nothing it should be that power is temporary and abuses of it have consequences. Truth always prevails. Light always overcomes darkness. Evil is always overcome.

And so, I remain hopeful that this too shall pass. That racist attacks like we saw last night will end.  That silly terrorist declarations meant to incite and ridicule will stop so that we can unite as a nation in facing true enemies. That the violence we see each day in our cities will end. And that the intolerance, on both sides, of the ideas and opinions of others will give way to meaningful discussions about things that actually matter. And that words from the leaders of this country about uniting its people will be replaced with actions that actually align with them for once.

This won’t be a great country as soon as Republicans start complying with the demands of liberals no more than it will start being a better country when Democrats start complying with the demands of conservatives. Businesses don’t work that way either.  We can only achieve greatness when all of us make a simple choice to start talking and listening to one another again, when we start tolerating each other again, when we start loving one another again.

Until then it’s going to be a mess – of hateful hashtags, of each side blaming the other for a pandemic neither side to this day knows barely one thing about, and of boys crying wolf again and again over the days latest outrage or grievance while the nation slips deeper into debt and malaise.

We can be better than that. We can start by tolerating what comes out of the mouths of others.

Be tolerant.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE.

Categories
Love

Appeasement is Not Love

Appeasement is not love. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog

April 23, 2021

There has been much in the way of appeasement occurring lately, whether from corporations, professional athletic leagues, universities, politicians or celebrities. It has become fashionable to simply go along with the mob rather than risk cancellation, boycott, physical threat or other negative outcomes. The influence of pure evil – on both sides – has become so great that truth has given way to myth as people line up to accommodate those intent on the destruction of the values which are the foundation of a just and civil melting pot of cultures and traditions which, despite their differences, share a common belief in the distinct separation of good and evil and in the notion that we are called to love and care for one another. In every significant religious tradition that forms that fabric of this great country there exists some belief that good will triumph over evil, that light will prevail over darkness or that right will win in the end. Whether Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Confucianism, Sikhism, or Taoism, all place an emphasis on doing good, on kindness on some notion or of loving one’s neighbor. In these and the estimated 4,000 religious traditions that make up the fabric of our world, however, one thing is absolutely not to be mistaken: loving one another does not mean appeasing the evil among us.

Appeasement is not love. Looking the other way is not love. Saying nothing for fear of being called a name, being branded with some “ism,” suffering some loss, or incurring some embarrassment is not love. Evil or any other bad behavior is to be confronted, not excused. Evil is to be eradicated, not encouraged. Evil is to be called out, not ignored.

It matters little where the evil or inappropriate activity is occurring or by whom. It is the role of true, caring leaders to address it whenever and wherever they find it. Even Jesus flipped over a few tables. But when evil is ignored, it is no better that a tacit approval of it. Looking the other way while evil slithers into our midst only invites more of it. Evil leads to suffering, to division, and to hate. 

When inappropriate behavior is permitted to occur unfettered anywhere, it leads to fracture, reduced morale and diminished output. It’s undeniable. Businesses or other organizations that tolerate evil and other forms of inappropriate behavior underperform their peers. Positive contributors who see the appeasement of the ill-behaved are told, without words, that dedication to the cause and proper actions count for nothing while evil is elevated and rewarded. Weak managers, held hostage by the demand of the mob, lose credibility by the moment as reasonable, hard-working and honest people see all that they have contributed to and sacrificed for given over in a moment to those who have invested little and endeavored almost nothing, all the while threatening the very existence of those who built all that is being plundered.

But when those brave few have the courage to stare evil in the face and refuse to submit, something just short of miraculous occurs. Evil backs down. The Grants, the Churchills, The King Jrs, the Thatchers, the Reagans and others who have stood steadfast in the shadow of evil without taking a single step back have taught us all a lesson. That history never favors the Chamberlains or the McClellans, the appeasers, who believe there is something to be gained by giving in to any force of evil rather than doing away with it for good – for the sake of all that is good.

So, do not mistake appeasement with love. Do not tolerate evil.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE.

Categories
General Leadership

Avoid Papa Moments

Avoid Papa Moments andwin.net

April 16, 2021

My father was well known for his stories and his witticisms. That I grew up to be a storyteller was a surprise to exactly nobody. It is, after all, the family business.

I was raised the oldest of four boys. Whenever some tragedy would befall one or more of us, my father, after quickly deducing the precise circumstances of the situation, would almost always, because it was almost always true, look at the victim of the tragedy and in a tone that was part accusatory and part loving father, declare for what must have felt to him like the 1,386th time, “Bad things happen when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.” Then, most often, he’d turn and walk away. For him, that was the end of it. Because for him, it was no more complicated than that.

Whatever might have happened, whatever grave consequence might have occurred, to him, didn’t matter. To him it was fruit of the original sin of our choosing to do something we weren’t supposed to be doing.

And he was right. When people make decisions to do the wrong things, bad things almost always follow.

And that’s the point for the week.

When my own kids suffer the consequences of bad decisions, Annie and I simply refer to them as “Papa Moments.” Papa was what they called my dad. We don’t even need to give them the whole “Bad things happen…” spiel. Papa Moment suffices. They get it. Their generation also says, “Play stupid games’ win stupid prizes.” It’s pretty much the same. When you engage in stupid behavior, something bad is going to follow.

The news has been overtaken for what seems like the last five years by situations that are tearing this country apart.  Truly horrible outcomes about which I have no interest in choosing a side in. I don’t have a dog in those fights. I don’t care to. I do though know that bad things happen when we are doing things we aren’t supposed to be doing. My father never cared about whose was at fault when the horrible things started happening because he knew that were his sons doing the right thing the bad things never see the light of day. I react the same way with my kids, and with those I have the privilege to lead.

Good choices lead to good outcomes. Make bad choices and all bets are off.

Lest anyone lose their mind, evil, illegal or immoral outcomes which occur after bad decisions are made are never justified or excused. If you think that’s the point of this, start back at the beginning; you’ve missed the point. The point is this. Bad decisions lead to bad outcomes. Without the bad decision, what comes after never happens. There is no division.  There is no anger. There is no manufactured outrage. There is no hate. Because we never get there in the first place.

When all of us focus on the personal responsibility that we have to one another to make better decisions, to do the things we are supposed to be doing, and to avoid those things we know in our hearts are Papa Moments, we will accomplish more as families, as organizations and as communities.  We will do so because we will spend less time fighting with one another over which was worse, the stupid game or the stupid prize, and more time on what really matters like coming together, as one nation, indivisible, under God.

So, avoid Papa Moments.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE.

Categories
Common Ground

Seek Common Ground

Seek common ground. andwin.net

April 8, 2021

Today, April 8, 2021, there will be a total eclipse of the Sun visible across much of the United States. The eclipse will cut a path across fifteen states from Maine to Texas with 100% block-out visible along a path some 120 miles wide. In all, some 35 million Americans live along the route of the eclipse.

Think about it. A group of people roughly equal to half the number that voted for either presidential candidate will have the opportunity, together, to look up and watch the Sun duck behind the moon. Americans of all races, creeds, colors, religions and political parties in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine will find themselves united by something for a change, even if fleetingly.

For some five minutes today, in the darkness of the eclipse, a near 10% of the American population will be reminded that unity and division are choices. Post eclipse we can do things differently, or we can go right back to the dysfunction of racial division, political mistrust, and outright dishonesty and disrespect. Like all else in life, how we choose to treat others is a choice.

And that’s the point for the week.

If nothing else, what’s being called The Great American Eclipse, should serve as a reminder of a few very important facts. First, that we are, in the scope of things, very very small; and whether it’s a person or a thing, there is some force at work in the world that is much greater than us as individuals. When we stop regarding ourselves as the center of the universe, we begin to recognize the value in others and in our commonness of origin and purpose. When this happens, we win more. Second, we are reminded that we have things that unite us after all – great big, wonderful things, like this country and the beauty and wonder of it that surrounds us. The more we are united, the more often we will succeed. Finally, we are reminded that everything here is temporary; why then would we ever seek to build something on a foundation of hate that we know we will leave behind as a gift or legacy to those who follow? What sort of illness does that require? 

Almost daily in life – at work, at home and in our communities – we will be faced with opportunities to connect with other human beings or to push them away, to seek common ground or to dwell on differences, to leave caring, enduring evidence of our time here, and to love the one we are looking at or to persist in hate.

When we choose the easy path of hate, division and cancellation, we become complicit in the creation of a world that ceases to function well. We hasten, in the name of our supposedly good causes, to tear down rather than build up. We make ourselves look small, petty and less than smart. We destroy trust and rarely accomplish anything meaningful.

But those who choose the better path, the way of inclusion, love and hope, win more, for no other reason than they have more hands pulling on the rope.  They bring more, diverse ideas to every problem. And they spend almost no time stuck in place dealing with the negative, and often horrible, repercussions that result when human beings refuse to get along.

So, as the sky turns dark today, simply ask yourself which choice you’ve made so far. If you don’t like the answer, fix it. 

Seek common ground.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE

Categories
Forgiveness Joy

He is Risen Today!

He is risen today! andwin.net

Sunday, April 4, 2021

Jesus Christ is risen today!  Allelujah, Allelujah, Allelujah!

I love Easter more than any other holiday. Even Christmas. 

For Easter is foremost about redemption. It’s about knowing no matter how badly you’ve messed things up, you can find forgiveness and eternal life in Him. 

That is the promise of the passion and resurrection of Christ. 

It was the promise He made to the thief on the cross and its the same promise he makes to each of us. 

The Christian faith is often criticized for its prodigal son feature. That even a death row inmate who confesses and repents prior to dying can find salvation. Many find it unfair – that they’ve lived righteous lives for decades only to have someone get the same reward for a moment of the same behavior. 

I love that. It’s why He came. It’s why He made fun of those with their long-tasseled shawls. His day’s version of the woke crowd. Because they sinned too. Every day. And they were no better than the tax collectors, prostitutes and thieves that Christ freely welcomed into the kingdom of God. 

He came for all of us. 

The best of us and the worst of us. 

He died for us and he rose for us. 

As a promise. 

Of redemption. 

Found simply. In love for Him and our neighbor. And sorrow for those times when we fail. 

Happy Easter.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE.

Categories
Belief

Look Beyond Your Saturdays

Look beyond your Saturdays. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog
Holy Saturday by Swiss artist, Eugene Bernaud

Saturday, April 3, 2021

For those first followers of Him, what must waking up today have felt like? Remember that for nearly all of them, the resurrection was not yet understood or believed. Some, like Thomas even, after seeing had to be convinced. So, unlike us, today, in their minds, they had nothing to look forward to. No great joy just a sunrise away.

So, for them, today was most certainly a day of loss, anguish, despair, and anger. Many hid in fear. Others milled about in confusion. Still others lingered by the tomb, still in shock and disbelief, or waiting for the end of the Sabbath to attend to the broken body of their friend. But even without the assurance of the resurrection, these disciples and early followers were reminded, with the rising of the sun that Saturday morning, that life does go on. Too, His reminder of their purpose must have been ringing in their heads – “the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” Yet they despaired.

Why in the face of loss do we allow the selfishness of grief to consume us? To allow our own concept of possession for that which was never ours in the first place to cloud our view of the promise and hope of the next new day? To let the indulgent balm of self-pity keep us from fulfilling our own purpose? Especially when we – unlike those first disciples – have full knowledge of the promise of the resurrection.

See, our Saturdays are never without hope. Our Saturdays never come without the full knowledge of what comes tomorrow – of what is given to us when the rock is rolled away. And so for today, and all of our Saturdays, remember, He came so that no day should be without hope, without gratitude and without joy.

So, look beyond loss, grief and anguish – always, to Sunday – and the unbroken promise of the risen Christ.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE.

Categories
Love

Be Like Him

Enough hate. Choose to be like Him. andwin.net

April 2, 2021

Today, even those who don’t believe are reminded of a story of a love so great that one was willing to die for the sins of others. It’s a story of a man who came to preach forgiveness and redemption. A man who replaced every law that came before with two – one of which is love thy neighbor as thyself.

But even on this day, even those who profess to believe in this man and what he taught cannot get it right. Because who we vote for matters more than love. Because skin color matters more than love. Because hating the right people matters more than love. Because denying history matters more than love. Because being right about things we know nothing about matters more than love. Because despising one man matters more than love. Because winning at any cost matters more than love. Because denying our neighbor matters more than love. Because lies matter more than love. Because saying we are Christians matters more than acting like Christians.

And so today, like any other day, all I’m going to try to do is what he said to do. I’m going to love other people – whether they are brown or white, whether they are wearing a mask or not, whether they’ve gotten a vaccination or not, Democrat or Republican, born here or born somewhere else, rich or poor, even if they have cats.

Because that’s all he asked. To be more like Him. And it’s really not that hard – if we simply stop making it about ourselves. If we simply choose to love the one we’re looking at. That’s what he did. That’s what he chose to do. And he let someone pound nails through his hands and feet to prove it.

Enough hate. He didn’t come here for that.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE

Categories
Courage Embracing Change

Be Bad At Something

Have the courage to be bad at something to become good at something
Caroline Kane

April 2, 2021

This week, my oldest daughter, Chick, learned to ski. During a trip to Park City, Utah, Chick actually went skiing; and that’s a big deal. See, on other visits, Chick has been content to enjoy skiing trips from the lodge. Like her mother, Chick has never seen the utility in exchanging vacation dollars for anything that did not involve huge bodies of water, sand and temperatures routinely above 80 degrees or short of that a large fire, a bar and overstuffed leather furniture. So, she’s always been content to enjoy winter sports as a spectator – until this year.

This year, Chick decided to learn to ski. I’ve been tremendously proud of her. Skiing, like riding a bike, is not immediately easy. It can be incredibly frustrating and sometimes painful. Like bike riding, it’s made even worse by seeing columns of others whizzing around making it look easy, while one struggles to learn — adding to the degree of difficulty by inserting a negative mental element to the mix. But she did it. Now, she can check off one more accomplishment, one more life experience – because she tried something new. She had the courage to be awful at something until she wasn’t.  But only by being brave enough to be bad at something do we get good at anything.

And that’s the point for the week.

Those who are or become great leaders are those who are willing to try and do new things. It’s not a lesson in perseverance; although it could be. It’s a lesson about recognizing that only from discomfort comes growth. And that without growth, progress is impossible.

To do something new requires that one try something new. It requires that we expose ourselves, that we admit to others that we don’t know how to do something – YET. I added the yet. See, whenever I’m asked about a thing or skill I don’t yet have, I don’t ever answer with a simple “no.” I say, “not yet.” For example, if I’m asked if I know how to speak Danish, code in Python, or play the mandolin, I don’t say, “no,” I say, “not yet.” It creates an entirely different perspective and an entirely different response. It tells people that I’m open to learning and that I don’t know how to do those things not because I don’t want to, but because I haven’t tried to do them … YET.

Traditional, narcissistic leaders don’t often try new things. Remember, doing so requires admitting you don’t know everything or can’t do everything. Not only does this lead to an exceedingly boring existence, it also leads to exceedingly unsuccessful outcomes for the organizations they lead. See, when you don’t try new things or learn no things, you fall back on only the one or two tricks you know. As the world evolves, these one-trick ponies become dinosaurs (I love mixed metaphors); ill-equipped to deal with increasingly complex and ever-changing landscapes. In short, they lose.

But those who are willing to suck at something for a while, win more, because they learn more. Maybe best of all, in learning to do new things, these leaders show others they are human, and vulnerable, that they were not born with all the answers. In this they welcome the help and input of those around them who may have already learned Danish, Python coding, or the mandolin. In the process, organizations are knit tighter. They build trust and common experiences which they draw upon later when difficult times demand. These bonds, which strengthen over time add to the bolstering that comes from the added capability from learning new things to create nearly unstoppable forces – giant human organisms that behave as one and which are capable of winning at almost anything because the people that comprise them take the risk to learn to do almost anything.

Like skiing. So be bad at something until you are good at it.

And win.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, London, please follow this LINK.

To learn more about the author, please click HERE