Categories
Caring

Welcome to Phillip Kane’s AndWin Blog

Welcome to Phillip Kane's AndWin blog, fueled by the not so subtle art of caring

JUMP TO THIS WEEK’S POST

The purpose of this blog is to share the AndWin principles of true, caring leadership with others using stories from Phillip Kane that readers can relate to, remember and draw upon.

So, welcome again to Phillip Kane’s AndWin Blog. Here you will find insights that will help you become a more caring leader AndWin … to treat others the way they want to be treated AndWin … to love others AndWin … and to make others big AndWin.


“If you like the blog, you’ll love the book.”

Cover art, Phillip Kane's The Not So Subtle Art of caring: Letters on Leadership Welcome to Phillip Kane's andwin blog
Design by: David Donovan Evans

The teachings behind the AndWin blog are available in Phillip’s new book, 2022 Eric Hoffer Book Award finalist, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership – Real Stories From a Real Leader to Real People About What Really Matters, from John Hunt Publishing, London, UK.

To purchase Phillip’s book, please click HERE.

You can learn more about Phillip and the release of the book by visiting Phillip Kane, Author the official site for Phillip Kane.


The AndWin Leadership Philosophy

The AndWin leadership philosophy is based on Phillip’s 30+ years of successful experience leading others to win at some of the biggest companies on the planet. It’s rooted in The Not So Subtle Art of Caring. It’s about the ampersand. It’s like Coke Zero. It’s all about the AND. The “&” says you can treat other people the right way AndWin. It says that true leaders do not have to choose between delivering results and being respectful to others. It says that the supposed tradeoff between productivity and caring for others is a myth. It says that you can have both kindness and winning.



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Here’s How the Blog Works:

Each week, Phillip puts up one or more story-based leadership posts for those focused on winning and who are looking for an alternative to the authoritarian, desk-pounding, fear-based style of leadership that is unfortunately far too prevalent in many organizations today.

The site currently includes more than 150 original pieces of content that can help you in your quest to do just that. So, please allow time to browse around or bookmark the page and come back often. Simply scroll down to read through Phillip’s posts.

You can scroll at your leisure or search by subject, category or tag. Click on the comments bubble under the title for each post to leave your feedback, or click on a share button to forward content to your fave sosh site or to a friend or colleague.

Stop by our store while you are here to check out our AndWin swag too if you have a sec.

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Welcome to Phillip Kane's andwin blog, I am Phillip Kane, author of the blog and The Not So Subtle Art of Caring
Phillip Kane

Welcome again to Phillip Kane’s AndWin blog. Thanks for visiting!

Remember, make it about others, not you, AndWin.


Cover, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership, by Phillip Kane, author. Welcome to Phillip Kane's andwin blog
Phillip Kane’s book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters on Leadership. Cover design by: David Donovan Evans

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Categories
General Leadership

Don’t Change Definitions, Change Lives.

Don't Change Definitions, Change Lives. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog
Image: Annie Spratt | Unsplash.com

Saturday, July 30, 2022

This week, the ruling class and media elites in this country spent most of their time arguing about the definition of long-settled words, most notably, recession. Long understood by all to mean an economic period marked by two or more continuous quarters of GDP retraction, our current administration and its water carriers began seeking immediately, after the news of Q2’s economic decline was announced, to recast the definition of the word recession so as to avoid admitting that the nation was, in point of fact, in one. Some even went as far as to deny that the long-held definition was actually the long-held definition after all. Bastion of truth and objectivity, Wikipedia changed the definition, locked the page from further editing, then, in response to visceral outrage, changed the definition of definition itself to allow for such fluidity as was occurring right before our very eyes.

The trouble with all of the variability, though, is that it was doing absolutely nothing to fix the root problem of the economic malaise gripping the country. Changing definitions is not winning. Changing definitions does nothing to help those whom one held their hand up and asked to lead.

Changing definitions is concerned solely with improving the image and legacy of those with egg on their face; it does nothing to improve the lives of those paying more for eggs.

And that’s the point for the week.



The trouble with insufferable narcissists is that they almost never take responsibility for their failures.

The other problem with them is that they care almost nothing at all for those whom they asked to lead.

It’s why they will bend themselves into a pretzel to avoid even the appearance of blame, let alone actually accepting, then taking action to correct a mistake they have caused. It’s simply not in their nature.

So, they send out their minions to deny that the truth people can see with their own two eyes is actually taking place. They instruct others to change the definitions of words. Still others they ask to recast and reframe data. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” they shout, “Enjoy the wonderful world of OZ.”

But this isn’t winning. No right-thinking human being believes this is winning.

And it’s not a matter of politics … or comparison … or whataboutism. It’s a simple matter of right and wrong – about telling people the truth or telling people something else.

People who tell others the truth, no matter how difficult, attract followers. They collect around them people who would go anywhere with them and do anything for them, because they know if they tell them something it is the truth. For second only to love, the most important contract between two human beings is trust. And without it, one will never have followers, but only people that do what they are told in exchange for money. But trust binds organizations together and fuels them onward. It’s what enables them to withstand the cycles of the economy and the buffets of the competition. It’s what creates winners – the likes of which we haven’t seen around here for a while … because we keep mistaking things for leadership traits that aren’t, and hiring people to lead who can’t – people who change definitions instead of changing what’s broken.

Don’t be these people. Don’t change definitions, change what’s broken. Don’t change the narrative, change the outcome. Don’t change words, change people’s lives.

And win.

For more about the author, please follow this LINK.

To purchase Phillip Kane’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring, (John Hunt Publishing) please click HERE.

Image: Annie Spratt | Unsplash.com

Categories
Empathy

Don’t Fake Empathy

Image credit: engin akyurt | Unsplash.com

Friday, July 22, 2022

This week, I sent a tweet that some may have found a bit cynical, which suggested that the attempt by large corporations to convince their associates that a CEO who earns $20 million per year understands the well-being concerns of their average employee is, as a matter of fact, contributing to the well-being concerns of their average employee. See, no reasonable person believes that someone with an 8-digit compensation package has any ability at all to relate to the health and welfare issues of individuals making 100 times less than them. So, for anyone in the organization to suggest that they do is not helpful; in fact, it’s upsetting.

As if on cue, two days after I sent the tweet, up pops a post in my LinkedIn feed from a CEO sharing the great news that he had finally taken the advice he’d been giving to his team about self-care and had decided to embark on a 5-star retreat to one of Europe’s most exclusive destinations. It was a rather long post, complete with pictures of the posh facility and some regret on the leader’s part that he doesn’t do enough for himself. I tried to put myself in the place of one of his average workers. I tried to decide how the post would contribute to my own well-being and rather quickly decided that it likely would not, imagining that with the rising cost of everything my own vacation had likely been postponed as personal budget worries mount … creating real live health concerns at a time when people in the office are being asked to do the work of more than one associate.

And to know that the boss’s idea of empathizing with it all is to jet over to Switzerland for a spa week was likely the last straw. Because the goal of empathy is not to show people how much more important you are than their problems. It’s to show them how important their problems are to you.

And that’s the point for the week.



Trying to show people that their problems shouldn’t matter to them by proving they are trivial to you will almost always serve to remind them only of why you should no longer matter to them. No one wants to be reminded of power they don’t possess, or money they don’t have, or luxuries they don’t own. People want to be made to feel big, not torn down or made to feel small. They want to work for people who are empathetic with their plight – not tone-deaf narcissists who seek to minimize the importance of their lived experience.  

See, empathy is not a function of trying to convince people that things that they very well know do matter don’t. It’s a simple function of putting yourself in another’s place and understanding as best as you possibly can, how they feel … either because you’ve asked them or because you’ve been there before – purposely having walked a mile in their shoes.

At a minimum, it’s about honestly admitting that you have no earthly idea how they feel but promising that it matters enough to you to find out and then caring enough to do so. Because two things are true. One, all that most people care about is that you care. Second, you can’t fake empathy. Either you care or you don’t. If you care more for the person in the mirror than the person sitting in front of you, find another line of work. Leadership probably isn’t your bag. Because if putting yourself first matters more to you that anything else, you’re going to be spotted a mile away. And when you are, people will turn and run – joining the more than 4 million others per month that are heading for the exits, looking for people who truly and actually care.

So, don’t fake empathy.

And win.

To learn more about the author, please follow this LINK.

To purchase a copy of Phillip Kane’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring, please click HERE.

Image credit: engin akyurt | Unsplash.com

Categories
Forgiveness

Give Second Chances

Give second chances. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog.
Image credit: Tommao Wang | Unsplash.com

Friday, July 1, 2022

This week, for Catholics universally, was the solemnity of Sts. Peter and Paul. The Gospel reading was from Matthew, chapter 16 – the story of Jesus promising that upon Peter, himself, would he build his church. 

We know that he followed through. John 21 tells us so.  Even without the text from John, the existence of some 2.5 billion Christians globally would make it clear enough besides.  Christ kept his word … despite Peter failing to keep his.

Many of you may recall that between his first being told he would be the foundational rock for the future Christian church and his ultimate commissioning, Peter denied Jesus 3 times – even after promising, upon penalty of death, not to.

But despite what many might view as the ultimate slight, the ne plus ultra of betrayals, Jesus the Christ gave Simon Peter another go. But that’s what you’d expect from a perfect human being. It’s a notion rooted in forgiveness and the idea that few ever achieve first place without having been given a second chance. 

And that’s the point for the week.



There is a persistent notion in American business that, in the often cut-throat game of corporate ladder climbing that the rule of one strike and you’re out applies. There is no margin for error. There is no allowance for a temporary loss of self-control. There is no understanding for decisions to prioritize other aspects of your life over the business. And so, over time, the field of “leadership” candidates winnows away as a greater number of once well-regarded high-potentials violate this coda or that, disqualifying themselves from further ascension.

But true, caring leaders – those being sought out by many of the more than 50 million workers who have left jobs in the last year looking for kinder, better work environments, and the leaders behind them, behave differently. These leaders not only believe in second chances, they encourage the sort of line-crossing and mold-breaking that leads to needing them. 

That’s because these people know that protecting the world as it is or insulating the old guard from any challenge or criticism will merely result in a world without change and a business that watches its competition stream past it. They know that people and organizations learn, not from success, but from mistakes, failures, and knocks on the head. They understand that the best of us has have been given a second chance, an opportunity for redemption and the occasion to prove that tossing them aside would have been a monumental error. 

For many, a second chance is a first date with adversity. Without second chances, we build columns of so-called leaders who have never known defeat, nor trial, nor the requirement of picking oneself up and pressing on. We build soft-skinned and soft-palmed tyrants mostly, with zero soft skills and almost always a world’s best boss mug that they bought for themselves. 

To find the winners in life, simply look for the ones passing out second chances. They’re the ones people want to be around – not because they are pushovers, but because they recognize that having more and being more in life is a direct function of having fallen and been helped back up by someone kind enough to give them a chance to try it all again tomorrow.

So, give second chances.

And win.

To learn more about Phillip Kane, please click HERE.

To purchase a copy of my book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring: Letters On Leadership, from John Hunt Publishing, please follow this LINK

Image credit: Tommao Wang | Unsplash.com

Categories
General Leadership

Do Things Cleanly

Do Things Cleanly. Phillip Kane's Andwin.net blog
Image: Charlotte Kane

Saturday, June 25, 2022

This week, my daughter, Charlotte, started a blog of her own. She named it Bellezza Pulita, or Clean Beauty. Charlotte has a passion for a more refined sort of lifestyle without artificial fillers or extraneous things that either don’t belong or don’t add value or worse, that are potentially harmful or disruptive. She believes strongly that there is a cleaner path to beauty, style, food and culture.

As I thought more about what Charlotte was doing and saying, besides being proud of her, it also occurred to me that a lot of what she’s talking about has application for our lives in business too. It makes perfect sense. When we seek to do things more cleanly, with less waste and with greater refinement, we’ll win more often.

And that’s the point for the week.



I often tell those I have the privilege to work with or coach that the expenditure of any effort, resource, or expense on anything not 100% tied to attainment of the organization’s goals and objectives is waste. I tell people this because it’s true. The cleaner anything is, the less waste will be associated with it.

That’s because what is clean is sleek and streamlined; it’s something pure and undefiled; it’s something without unnecessary adornment or extra bits that contribute nothing to its stated purpose or objective. So, it would follow, then, that things done more cleanly will be far less wasteful and far more aligned to organizational goals. They will also tend to be beautiful.                                                                                           

Beauty is not just a superficial asthetic. It is, or should be, something far deeper than that. Beauty defines the way all parts of something come together in proportion and balance. Too much of anything or something out of place destroys not only appearance, but functionality and effectiveness as well. 

True, caring leaders seek beauty in all they do because they know that not only does the creation of beautiful things more often guarantee winning but it also guarantees that people stick around longer and bring more of their heart to everything they do. That’s because if given a choice, most people would rather create beautiful things than the alternative. It’s also because in creating things of lasting beauty, human beings derive great joy. And along with love and trust, it’s joy that people seek to bring fulfilment to their lives whether at home, at work or in giving back to their communities.

And it all starts with doing things more cleanly, with less wasted time and effort, less of everything no one wants and more of what customers will actually pay for, less resources squandered on things that don’t matter and more spending on things that do, less screaming and more encouraging, less hidden agendas and far more transparency, less trash and more treasure, less L and more P, and, more than anything, fewer people who don’t care and far more people who do.

Because like almost anything else in life, to do things more cleanly is a choice – a beautiful, wonderful choice between caring enough to create something beautiful or, as is the case for many, to not quite care at all. 

So, choose beauty. Do things cleanly.

And win.

For more like this, visit https://AndWin.net

To purchase a copy of Phillip Kane’s new book, The Not So Subtle Art of Caring, a better alternative to narcissistic, old-school, micromanagement, please click HERE.

Image: Charlotte Kane

Categories
General Leadership

Gather with Purpose

Gather with Purpose. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog. Image credit: Pezibear | Pixabay.com
Image credit: Pezibear | Pixabay.com

Saturday, June 18, 2022

This week, Annie, and I spent a day looking at houses. We are thinking of moving to be closer to our children. We looked at old houses, new houses and in-between houses. We looked at big houses, little houses and in-between houses. We looked at close to town houses, away from town  houses and a bit in-between houses. We looked at move-in-ready houses, gut-job houses, and in between houses. We looked at houses like the one we have now, totally different houses, and in-between houses. We looked at open floorplan houses, chopped-up floorplan houses, and in-between houses. And the one we ended up liking the most was the most unlike anything we expected to like.

It wasn’t in a location we liked. It wasn’t built in the 20’s like we like. It wasn’t in an old neighborhood like we like. It didn’t have a story like we like. It wasn’t particularly attractive like we (and most people) like. It was a house that 9 times out of 10, we’d drive right past. But it felt like a home … because it was built for people to gather in. And as much as I continued to think I wanted the house that was the most like the house I have now in the neighborhood like I live in now, I couldn’t stop thinking about the unattractive, needs everything, feels-like-a-home gathering place. I think that’s because we’re made to gather; we’re happier that way, especially when we have a reason for doing so.

And that’s the point for the week.



Human beings are social creatures. We were created to be together with other human beings – in tribes, in clans, in clubs, in families, in communities, on teams and any other collection of two or more of us in any one place with a reason for being there. We do so because we don’t care for being alone doing nothing for long. Even the more introverted among us like more to be left alone than to be alone; because we are not made for extended solitude.

That’s why cases of depression and worse skyrocketed during the last two years of remote school and work. Zoom was an awful substitute for gathering together. Two dimensional images of those we care about were poor and unacceptable substitutes for the real thing. And when the lack of contact was combined with a lack of direction things became even worse. Millions of listless, lonely workers was a recipe for disaster.

It’s that same lack of direction, I think, which is now creating the bulk of the mixed emotions which are surrounding the return to the office for so many. It’s not so much that people don’t want to return to the office ever … they do. They long to see and gather with those they love and care about. What they aren’t looking forward to, and in many cases outright refuse to tolerate, is a combination of the office with lack of direction. They are willing to tolerate the latter from home but not after dressing for the office then enduring a commute to get there. Plus, when there doesn’t seem to be any actual togetherness once they arrive, the whole thing feels like a giant case of bait and switch.

Those that will win the return to the office game are those who understand that human beings have both a need to gather and a need for purpose. People will gladly show up in the office if they understand why they need to be there and are likewise rewarded by regular and meaningful gatherings with those they’ve missed. What they won’t tolerate are the early stabs at a hybrid model that feels worse even than either remote work or the office of yore because those in charge decided to combine the worst of both together into one awful construct they decided would be best for themselves.

This isn’t about spoiled workers with too much Covid money. Nor should it be about companies waiting people out until the Biden economy gets even worse and their perceived leverage returns. It’s about neither of those things. It’s fundamentally about people wanting to be with people. It’s about people wanting a purpose. And it’s about people wanting direction. None of those things seem like they are too much to ask for. People will gather together on purpose, it’s just what they do. Giving them a purpose to stay, well, that’s just what leaders do.

So, gather with purpose.

And win.

To learn more about the author, please follow this LINK.

To purchase Phillip’s new book, a finalist for the 2022 Hoffer prize, click HERE.

Image credit: Pezibear | Pixabay.com

Categories
General Leadership

Get Behind the Mask

Get behind the mask. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog

Friday, June 10, 2022

Next week, my son, William, is going to racing school. It was a present for his 18th birthday. Like his father he likes cars. Like his grandfather, he like to go fast in cars. So, it seemed wise to combine some education with his fascination. So off to school he’s going to go. It’s something he’s been excited about … until the last week or so. Lately he’s seemed less enthusiastic about the whole thing. When before he’d talk about the adventure in a quite animated way, now he’s more reserved, matter of fact, and ready to change the subject. It has started to seem like something he doesn’t want to do anymore. The nearer time has come to leaving the less excited he’s become about going.

Finally, I asked him what was wrong. Of course, at first, it was, “nothing.” But eventually, I learned it was the 5 hours of flying it was going to take to get there. See, Will hates to fly. He always has. His trepidation about the trip, and what seemed the school, actually had nothing to do with the school. It was the air travel to get there. Will just wasn’t looking forward to the flight and it colored the way the rest of us thought he was thinking about the trip generally. Had I not asked him, I might have just cancelled the whole trip or made some other mistake based on my own assumptions of how and what he was feeling. That would have been a disaster. But then bad things typically happen when we simply assume what other people are thinking based on the masks they are wearing.

And that’s the point for the week.



When we try to diagnose the feelings of others from a distance bad things almost always happen. That’s because we’re almost never correct in our assumptions. The masks people wear are generally meant to hide their true feelings, not to portray them. But most of us miss that. Instead, we, at a glance, attempt to figure out what’s behind their expression, their body language, their eyes, not once thinking to simply ask them what’s going on. Then, acting on our own bad intelligence, we make matters worse.

In attempting to fix things we cause further damage. In attempting to heal, we create a greater rift. In attempting to bridge a gap, we widen one. All because we thought better of simply taking the time to get behind the mask, by showing that we care enough to ask what’s behind it.

After all, that’s what most people want anyway – to be cared about … to be listened to … to be unmasked, in their time and on their terms. No one wants by told by someone that they just fixed their problem when they haven’t even told that person what their problem is. But in most cases it’s not even about solving their problem. It’s simply about being listened to, about being understood, about not being judged, about someone saying, “I still love you no matter what” and “I’m not going to make stupid decisions based on stupid assumptions anymore.”

Most people want little more than that from their leaders, from their parents, from their siblings or from people they bump into on the street.

People don’t want to be the objects of assumption, they want to be the objects of affection. It’s truly no more complicated than that.

So, take the time to care enough to get behind the mask.

And win.

o learn more about the author, please click HERE.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s new book, a finalist for the Eric Hoffer prize, please follow this LINK.

Image credit: Geralt | Pixabay.com

Categories
Inner Beauty

Seek Inner Beauty

Seek Inner Beauty. Phillip Kane's Andwin.net blog. Image credit: Caroline Hernandez | Unsplash.com
Image credit: Caroline Hernandez | Unsplash.com

Saturday, June 4, 2022

This week, my daughter Charlotte decided to go through, then digitize, a number of old paper photographs that my mother had taken and meticulously catalogued in album after album during her too-short lifetime. Mostly, Charlotte was interested in finding photos of her infancy and early childhood which, of course, her grandmother had troves of. Charlotte was having a ball mining for these little treasures. She sat by the printer-scanner for hours, well into the evening. Each time she found a photo of note, she’d joyfully describe her new discovery loudly enough for the entire neighborhood to hear, including her mother, Annie, who appeared in many of the photographs and, who seemed, as the hours dragged on, to be enjoying the festivities a great deal less than her daughter.

See, Charlotte’s common refrain upon finding a picture of Annie was to exclaim, “Mom you were so beautiful!” or something to that effect. As I watched this wider interaction unfold, I could see Annie becoming more and more upset. The issue wasn’t that she wasn’t beautiful. Of course, she was. She was often confused with actress Jeanne Tripplehorn as a young woman. More than once, she was asked for her autograph when we were traveling or out at dinner together. The trouble with Charlotte’s exclamations though was that Annie no longer recognized herself as the person in those old photos. So, she heard each outburst from Charlotte as, “Mom, you don’t look this good anymore.” And it hurt her feelings. But what the photographs failed to capture was the person inside. To me, that version of Annie is even more beautiful than the one in those 21 year old photos (as if it were possible). To me, and I think most people, that’s what truly matters anyway. 

See, people care a whole lot more about what’s on the inside than what’s on the wrapper.

And that’s the point for the week.



Annie is not going to look like the person in those 20 year-old photographs ever again. Neither am I. Neither is any of us. But to even hope for that would be entirely shallow and superficial. Because it doesn’t matter. How a person looks never improved the life of anyone, except maybe the person staring back at them in the mirror or in the thousands of images and videos they post on social media. But who a person is inside does matter. It determines how they show up for others. It determines what they do for others. It determines how they care for others. It determines whether they are the center of their universe or if that space is reserved for others.

Ultimately, those who are beautiful on the inside attract more people around them. That’s because true charisma lies in inner beauty. It’s like a magnet. It’s a thing that draws people near because it inspires them to become better versions of themselves. More than that, it’s eternal. Looks fade. But the wellsprings of inner beauty – things like kindness, empathy, and love for others – are enduring. These are qualities that inspire others, reassure others, and make others believe in themselves and in the goodness of those around them. Those with true inner beauty tell others, without saying a word, that they matter, that they are important, and that what they believe has value. It’s because those with inner beauty make it abundantly clear that it’s not about them.

Meanwhile, those obsessed with their own beauty tell others that feeding their own narcissism and sense of self-importance are what matter to them. It’s a psychosis that eliminates concern for anything or anyone besides who they see in the mirror. It’s rooted, though, in feelings of inadequacy and insecurity and a belief that self-advancement requires the tearing down of others. It’s why almost no one – except sychophants and those just like them – willingly follow these people. Life with them never improves, not one little bit. That’s because they only feel filled up when they are emptying another person out.

Run from those who are obsessed with their own reflection. Seek, instead, those, like Annie, whose inner beauty reflects the authenticity of their soul and invites others to draw near for a minute, an hour, a day or a lifetime to know love and to know that their life can be made better by someone who cares more about them than the person they see in the mirror or a faded photograph from days gone by.

Seek inner beauty.

And win.

To learn about the author, click HERE.

To purchase a copy of Phillip’s new book, please follow this LINK.

Image credit: Caroline Hernandez | Unsplash.com

Categories
Do Good

Enough.

Enough. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog
Image credit: dimitrisvetsikas1969 | Pixabay.com

Friday, May 27, 2022

This week, an act of pure evil was committed in Uvalde, Texas.

To all who are shouting, “Enough!” I agree.

Enough of politicians using dead children to score cheap political points. It’s gross. It’s dishonest. And it won’t do one thing to fix what’s wrong in this country.

I grew up in a time when there were more guns in every American household than there are today. We also had more people doing a lot more good and raising their children to do the same. And school shootings were a rarity – less than one occurring each two years during my twelve years of elementary, middle, and high school.

In recent decades, though, school shootings have risen into the hundreds. While every household in America has fewer guns in it, these killings have soared. Because what most households in America also have far less of today than they did forty years ago is goodness, civility, and love. These things aren’t taught much anymore – and our kids are dying because of it.

And that’s the point for the week.



Instead of love your neighbor, we teach our children to physically assault anyone who disagrees with them. Instead of educating young people to perform acts of kindness, we teach them to burn down communities. Instead of showing them how to bring people together in awful times like these, our current and a former President model how to sow division, suspicion, and hate. Instead of raising kids to do for others, we urge our next generations to take for themselves. We tell them that there is nothing good about America, its founders, its flag, or those who protect it.

Then the same people fomenting the hate, manufacture more of it and more false outrage aimed at people who have nothing to do with these killings every time one occurs.

So yes, enough! Enough of not doing good. Enough of teaching entire generations of children that distrust, hate and violence are the answer to any perceived slight or injustice. Enough of all of us forgetting that we are all in this together and that the more good there is in the world, the less room there is for evil in it.

And while a little more good from all of us may not stop all of the killing, it’s going to go a long, long way toward it.

I think the English theologian, John Wesley offered the best advice as any I’ve ever heard for us to follow. He said, “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

So, do that.

And win.

Enough of all the rest.

To learn more about the author, click HERE.

To purchase a copy of my new book, click HERE.

Image credit: dimitrisvetsikas1969 | Pixabay.com

Categories
Tolerance

Eat Right Twixes

Eat Right Twixes. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog
Image: Sebbi Strauch | Unsplash.com

Friday, May 20, 2022

This week, while working with a client, one of them brought in a jumbo bag of assorted fun-size candy bars. Included were small Twix bars of both the Left and Right variety. This led to a discussion about Twix’ Left/Right campaign and their suggestion that their customers “pick a side.” I recall that in one TV spot, Left Twix factory workers were shown wondering what the opposite Twix might taste like; the dislike between the sides being so intense that they had never tried the Right Twix or even socialized with their factory’s workers. The whole point of it was the preposterousness of it all. That’s because inside the wrapper, the Left Twix and Right Twix are exactly the same.

It reminded me of a guy I worked with once who would eat nothing green. I’d ask him, from time to time, about specific green foods. I was curious, in each case whether he’d actually ever tried them. He never had. He just didn’t like green food, and so, refused, like the Twix factory workers, to eat it at all, believing every bit of it was bad.

In both cases, these people had made decisions, based on the appearance of something or on the urging or someone of some influence, I suppose, to have nothing at all to do with it. The more I thought about the absurdity of it all, the more it occurred to me that there’s a lot of that very sort of thing going on in the world right now. People are having nothing to do with people they’ve never even met before because they’ve decided in advance that they won’t like them. And it makes no more sense than not liking food because of its color or candy because of its hand dominance. Making decisions to not like people based on the color of their skin, their political leanings, religious beliefs or any other defining factor before you’ve even met them is ridiculous, abhorrent and wrong.

And that’s the point for the week.



The best leaders in the history of the world have been those who have displayed comfort and ease with every manner, sort, color, and creed of person they have had the privilege to encounter. These people don’t judge books by their covers or paint entire races, religions, or political parties with one brush. They know that to do so is not only intellectually lazy but it’s intellectually limiting as well.

By never eating green things or talking to green people, one misses out on the richness of learning and experience that comes from doing those things. By staying in one’s own little world one only ever learns about that narrow little space – an echo chamber where everyone looks the same, sounds the same, prays the same, loves the same, votes the same, and acts the same. Worse, their mind narrows with the constriction of that known world and their tolerance for difference along with it. As a result, their ability to lead anyone but lesser versions of themselves dwindles away.

See, it’s impossible to manage that which you’ve never seen before. It’s equally impossible to lead people you’ve never fully and completely known – or worse, that you’ve presupposed about, particularly when in a wrong-headed and bigoted way.

No one wants to listen to a bigot – of any color, creed, or religion – let alone follow one. That’s because most people want to get along with each other. People want to be around those who lift others up not those who tear people down. Too, most reasonable people don’t believe that all people of a certain race, creed or color are all a certain way. They know better. They’ve lived better. They know that’s as preposterous as believing that a Left Twix tastes worse than a Right one or that all green food is bad. It’s lazy. It’s hateful. And it should have no place in a world where meeting and talking to someone different than you is as easy as walking across the street, down the hall, or to the other side of a classroom.

So, reject the notion that all of anything is bad. Eat Right Twixes, try green food, and occasionally even talk to someone who believes different things than you.

And win.

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Image: Sebbi Strauch | Unsplash.com

Categories
Diversity Love

Practice Radical Hospitality

Practice radical hospitality. Phillip Kane's andwin.net blog.
Image: Phillip Kane

Saturday, May 14, 2022

This week, my daughter graduated from The University of Dayton again. She first graduated in May of 2020, in the midst of the pandemic. At the time, in an abundance of caution, the school canceled all commencement exercises and simply mailed diplomas to graduating students.

But with fears of COVID-19 now dissipating, UD’s administration decided to do right by these kids and hold their own make-up ceremony this weekend. It was typically Dayton. Run by the Marionist Fathers, community is a big deal there. They preach about, and actually practice radical hospitality – a term attributed to Doris Day, who, along with Peter Maurin, founded the Catholic Worker Movement, known for its social justice campaigns in defense of the poor, forsaken, hungry and homeless. 

Radical hospitality is simply love by another name. It’s about welcoming, embracing and including others unconditionally. And the fact that The University of Dayton lives it is why The University of Dayton is a leader factory. See, true leaders are those who love others without stopping to question whether they deserve it. 

And that’s the point for the week. 



True, caring leaders don’t pay attention to things like race, creed, color, age, gender, hair color, hair length, height, weight, nationality, orientation, body art, or other identifiers because they recognize how little they matter to anything related to winning in life or in business. Because color of anything makes no difference, they are indifferent to more or less of it. The same goes for any other label. These leaders don’t care. Leaders who practice radical hospitality accomplish greater things and win more often because they focus more on the quality of the output than the complexion of the people who produce it. 

They will behave radically hospitable to all comers, because they play by a different set of rules in a game with a significantly longer timeframe than this month, this quarter, this year, or this planning horizon. And because they aim for something of value beyond the here and now, they wind up winning more often here as a simple matter of course – mostly because they attract more people to their cause.

See, people seek to follow these leaders because they make them feel welcome and like they truly matter. These leaders don’t turn people away because they are different or seek to collect up quotas of them because they are either. People flock to be part of what these people are building because they are made to feel individually special by one special individual, not part of some wider, faceless, corporate initiative.

These people have no favorites and they don’t play sides. They believe that true diversity is that which comes from different thoughts, ideas and experiences – not differences in appearance. No voice has more weight, no voice has less. There’s no call for guilt, shame or reparation. Only forgiveness, redemption and love – founded on trust, which bonds their teams together and fuels them forward to win year in and year out – a blurred patchwork juggernaut. 

So be like the gang at UD. Practice radical hospitality. 

And win. 

For more about Phillip Kane, click HERE.

To buy a copy of my new book, please follow this LINK.

Image: Phillip Kane